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Laughter is like the human body wagging its tail

Anne Wilson Schaef

Chapter 2

The Seven Breeds of Dog Owners

Most people are surprised, then laugh with an affirming roll of the eye, when they realize that they are my primary students, not their dog. You're probably thinking, “Why should I read about my own temperament in a dog training book?” Well, The Seven Breeds of Dog Owners is based on human behavior patterns that affect canine performance. It gives us a way to see how our actions shape our dog's behavior.

All humans have habits and special quirks which will inevitably impact their dog. We just don't always see them—unless someone is kind enough to point them out to us. For instance, some of us have lengthy conversations with our dogs, attempting to teach them commands. Others try coaxing, whining, or even begging. This can be embarrassing and can actually contribute to or, in some cases, create misbehavior from your dog.

Different dog owner personalities, or breeds, as I call them, can surface  during different stages of your dog's development. So don't be surprised if you start out by identifying with the Coaxer and end up relating most to the Control Freak by the time your puppy is eight months old.

A common bone of contention can be discussing Sparky with your spouse. I have been in many homes where couples get a dog and one of the two (and I won't mention the gender) has their own theory of puppy raising that would make even your dog's tail curl. Winging it can create a pile of problems. One partner may be in dog-owner denial or an absolute tyrant when it comes to puppy training. To some, an obedient dog means discipline. While other partners are anarchists at heart. This kind of philosophical opposition could give a dog whiplash. Although we may find our own inconsistencies endearing, for dogs it's just plain confusing.

Recognizing your own traits and those of your partner and other family members helps undo some human habits that get in the way of successfully teaching your dog. This awareness will help you see your role in the process of  training your pooch. My people training approach is important to understand before getting to the mechanics of obedience. Consistency and positive reinforcement is the trick to make your dream dog happen.

The key, in any relationship, is to know thyself.

Dogs follow patterns and become consistently inconsistent to our inconsistencies. Are you confused? Just think how your dog feels.

The ability to recognize yourself in the process of training your dog will help you check your own behavior before you start to negatively influence your dog. Your dog will thank you, your friends will thank you, and maybe even a relative or two will thank you as well. No matter your age, occupation, or disposition, we all fit one or more of the seven personality types. Remember, behaviors take time to develop in people; this is true with dogs too.

More often than not, it’s our behavior that creates automatic misbehaviors in our dog.

Which of the following Breeds of Dog Owners sounds like you? See if any of the seven breeds describe your family members?

Breed #1 The Coaxer

Do you feel if you repeat a command often enough, sooner or later, your dog will catch on? Are your favorite words, “Come on!” Or do you call your dog's name a zillion times, hoping the dog will pay attention? If this breed of dog owner describes your actions, your dog is on his way to teaching you to beg!

Many puppy parents identify with this breed of dog owner. You may grow into a mixed breed in time, as your puppy matures. However, understanding how these common traits can affect your pup's perception is the key to what dog parents need to know.

Chew on this: If your dog could talk his first word would be "WHAT?"

Identifying Features: This person gets an “A” for effort, but is carrying the philosophy of repetition in dog training too far. The Coaxer comes in different shapes and sizes. Some Coaxer personalities insist their dog knows what they want him to do, but just won't do it. A fundamental problem arises from endless repetition of your dog's name, without addressing what you want him to do. Actions prove louder than words.

The Coaxer breed of owner repeats their dog's name in order to get the dog’s attention. This only teaches your dog to ignore you. As your dog matures, outside distractions, such as movement, smells and sounds, will override this owner's pleading voice inflection. Coaxing your dog can produce your dog's aloof behavior and mar the training process .

Bare Bone Fact: Don't beg or plead with your puppy. Learn how to guide him on a leash to please you.

Breed #2: The Control Freak

Does the word, “Hey,” slip off your tongue when your dog bolts out the front door every time it opens?  Do you find yourself yelling “Hey,” every time your dog jumps up on you? This disciplinarian believes  "Hey!" is a generic command to handle all situations. He or she generally owns the teenage pup. 

Chew on this: As your dog is bolting out the front door, he’s probably thinking, “Hey, to you too!

Identifying Features: This breed of dog owner misunderstands the concept of discipline by focusing primarily on negative reinforcement. The Control Freak often feels out of control because of his high expectations and extreme perfectionism. This attracts the wild child of the puppy world.

The following misbehaviors are possible consequences of the Control Freak's misguided form of reprimand: chewing furniture, grabbing food off the table, jumping onto the couch, among other delinquencies.

This breed of dog owner has at least two or three meanings for the word, “Hey.” He leaves it up to the dog to decipher what he means every time he shouts. Instead, the dog learns to tune him out, and continue the behavior.

If you are laughing to yourself, or at yourself, it means you recognize that someone you know is a mix, if not a purebred, Control Freak. This breed of dog owner needs to learn to guide his dog in a positive way rather than allowing unruly behavior to happen in the first place.

Does this sound familiar? "No, get down!" "Off!" "Hey! Stop it." This was the chant of my client Jonathan Exley, celebrity photographer (People, US, Rolling Stone, GQ ). Every time he returned home from a hectic day, his dog Lily, a Wheaten Terrier mix, bodyslammed him at the door. Albeit loving, this greeting annoyed Jonathan. "I need you to fix this, Inger," he said. "I love her madly, but Lily is being obnoxious."

Many people feel their dog behaves badly on purpose. A dog's exuberant hello is not necessarily a bad thing. However, to change Fido's wild ways, a dog needs to be guided to please you.

The trouble is we operate in large gray areas of thought. What we say is not always what we mean or want. Dogs have clarity. They do not think, "I sort of feel like chasing that squirrel, but maybe I should listen to my owner."  The squirrel runs, the dog chases it. Jonathan's problem could be solved by kindly directing his dog to "Sit." The chant "Hey!" "No, get down," "Stop it!, regardless how loud, did not tell Lily what she should do.  A pleasant command is worth a thousand reprimands.

Bare Bone Fact: Your dog's training is only as good as its application.

Breed #3: The Smacker Breed of Dog Owner

Do you roll up a newspaper and smack your dog on the nose when he does something wrong? Do you feel sparing the rod is spoiling the Spaniel?

Chew on this : You should NEVER, EVER HIT YOUR DOG.

O.K., I know many owners do not perceive themselves as abusive or violent people. Somewhere along the road, they heard that when a dog has done something wrong, a light bop on the dog's nose will teach it not to misbehave. Under no circumstance should you ever hit your dog.

Hitting your dog does not serve any purpose. We pat our dogs with our hand and use hand signals for advanced obedience. If you use the same hand to hit your dog (even when holding a rolled-up newspaper) you are sending a mixed signal. Teaching a dog to be obedient should be achieved through positive reinforcement, not punishment. Aggression can lead to aggression.

The Smacker breed of dog owner needs to get a better handle on understanding their dog's developmental stages, rather than trying to dominate their dog. Lead your dog, praise him. Don't terrorize him!

Identifying Features:  The Smacker's philosophy allows a dog's misbehavior to happen in the first place, because they are incorrectly disciplining a behavior that has already happened. All dogs want to please, they just don't know how, until you take the time to show them. Remember that achieving your vision of Lassie does not happen overnight, and often a puppy's speed of retention is limited by its developmental stage. For example, a four-month old puppy does not know not to chew on your hand or furniture; it is teething. All of its teeth need to come loose and fall out so new adult teeth can grow in.

The Smacker may feel the need to control this developmental stage by hitting their dog or reprimanding him for such natural behavior as teething. This can cause misbehavior from dogs, such as spot peeing out of fear. The dog may also learn to dodge his owner as a reaction to strong, improper reprimands or try to bite.

Bare Bone Fact: Obedience is the result of positive reinforcement, not discipline.

Breed #4: The Ol' Evil Eye 

Do you have special eye signals or gestures that you think your dog  understands when you disapprove of something? Do you find your dog speaks more than you do? Are you training your dog through osmosis or ESP?

This owner tries to communicate through facial gestures and grunts, rather than clear commands and positive voice inflection. Ol’ Evil Eye righteously feels his dog knows what it has done wrong when he gives his pooch the Ol’ Evil Eye glare.

Chew on this: Your dog may be thinking many things, but your dog is not thinking of ways to correct its own behavior.

Identifying Features: It seems to be Murphy’s Law that this breed of dog owner always attracts, or ends up choosing, a submissive dog rather than a dominant one. The dominant dog would be able to handle such eye contact, creating a different set of issues. Due to this owner's lack of voice inflection, positive reinforcement or use of boundaries, their dog never really knows where it stands or whether it's being good or bad.

Various dog behaviors can manifest themselves as a reaction to the Ol' Evil Eye's peculiarities.  In cases of extreme misunderstanding, this owner's behavior can exacerbate spot peeing in an already submissive dog. Spot peeing is a neurotic response where the dog urinates uncontrollably as a reaction to its owner's overbearing exactitude.

This act of urinating or spot peeing does not occur because the dog does not know how to go to the bathroom outside. It is born out of anxiety on the dog's part on how to please its owner. Hence, spot peeing is a form of behavioral incontinence. If this describes your dog, then see Chapter 11 on “Working out the Kinks” to correct the problem.

Another common symptom, due to lack of communication, is complete attention deficit disorder by the dog toward its owner. We have all witnessed this dog owner interaction at one time or another--the high- spirited dog who completely ignores its owner's silent attempt to settle him down. The Ol' Evil Eye's minimalist approach unintentionally causes disobedience and creates confusion for their dog. This breed of owner needs to remember that a little communication and lots of positive reinforcement on a leash goes a long way.

Bare Bones Fact: Actions speak louder than looks.

Breed #5: The Whiner

Do you sound the same whether you are happy or sad?  Do you think your dog is brilliant because he constantly cocks his head? The Whiner says, “No” and “Good Dog” all in the same tone of voice. The problem with this breed of dog owner is that your dog must become a linguist in order to understand when you are pleased or not.

Chew on this: The word "No!" should differ from other words in its tonality, using a low, quick and firm inflection.

Identifying Features: This owner thinks their dog is brilliant, mainly because their dog is constantly cocking its head, trying to understand them. As a trainer, I encounter this breed of dog owner often. What they need to know is that dogs respond to high-pitched sounds, which is why their dog cocks its head when they speak. I assure you, he is not trying to correct the owner's grammar.

One symptom of this breed of dog owner is that their voice inflection never varies.  If the word “No” is said in a sweet, whiny voice, it will never set a boundary for the pup. Most new dog parents are products of this breed, especially when they first bring their puppy home. Although they may grow into a completely different breed of dog owner later, the Whiner says positive and negative things all in the same tone. This gives your dog a mixed signal. Usually their tone of voice is nice enough, yet unfortunately, the dog can’t distinguish where its boundaries are.

Bare Bone Fact: Your dog does not understand English, French or Spanish, so don't attempt to explain or repeat things ad nauseam.

Breed #6 : The "It's O.K." Owner

For this breed of dog owner absolutely anything goes. Your dog poops on the floor every other week for a lifetime, and you will simply clean it up.  While resenting this role, the owner generally feels that life has dealt him a bad hand and that there is nothing he can do to correct his dog's behavior.

Chew on this: While you are waiting for your dog to signal when he needs to go to the bathroom, he is wondering, "Why in the world, don't you take me outside regularly?"

Identifying Features: The symptom this dog owner's behavior creates is that the dog has the “occasional accident'--for a lifetime. We have all been to that house where there are too many potted plants in the living room, covering all of the stains on the carpet from the dog. For a mature dog, urinating in the house is due to a lack of boundaries and, therefore, becomes an act of dominance, not just a matter of housebreaking. This act could be corrected by crating and training a dog in different areas of the house, but not by this passive parent. This breed of dog owner generally owns a small or toy breed of dog.

Bare Bone Fact: Training should be incorporated into your daily routine.

Breed #7: The Talker

Do you give your dog a dissertation on your daily activities? Do you wonder if your dog is stupid or just plain stubborn when he doesn't listen? The Talker breed of owner would probably be genuinely surprised to know that dogs, though quite perceptive, simply don’t understand lengthy human conversation. 

Chew on this: Dogs do not reason. If they did, you could have them pick up your dry cleaning or balance your checkbook.

Identifying Features: This is the most common breed of dog owner. Dogs quickly learn the pattern of this owner, appearing to be somewhat obedient, then suddenly ignoring the owner’s lengthy request to stay by his side. Instead the dog bolts across the street after a cat.

Giving your dog a lecture on what you'd like him to do, simply creates a lack of focus for your dog. Dogs are movement-driven and action oriented. Loosely translated: all talk and no guidance on a leash means your dog will misbehave, mainly because it can. This breed of dog owner says too much and means very little.

Bare Bone Fact: Think of obedience commands as letters of the alphabet rather than entire sentences.

The consistency of your own behavior is an important factor in training your dog and achieving  good communication. Identifying your own personality among the seven breeds of dog owners enables you to see your own inconsistencies and address them before your dog reacts to them. The following are seven bare bone people training facts that apply to most circumstances and form the foundation for positive development.

Seven Bare Bone Facts of Training

1. Your dog's training is only as good as its application.

2. Your dog does not understand English, French or Spanish—so don’t attempt to explain or repeat things ad nauseam.

3. Think of obedience commands as letters of the alphabet, rather than entire sentences.

4. Actions speak louder than words and looks.

5. Obedience is the result of positive reinforcement, not discipline.

6. Training should be incorporated into your daily routine.

7. Don't beg or plead with your puppy. Learn how to guide him on a leash to please you.

People Training

  A common quirk of couples is not being on the same page in their puppy raising. My client actress Leila Kenzle (Mad About You ), a recovering Coaxer, began slipping into a Whiner mode when her husband, an admitted Control Freak, got a second dog, Maidie, a Maltese. Peeing in the house was the problem. Although her husband Neil didn't like it, he thought that he had the situation under control when he saw Maidie pee on the floor. Saying "Hey" in a firm voice gave him the feeling of dedicated discipline while hoping that the pooch would eventually use the dog door and poop outside. Poor Maidie was in a maze of confusion and still not using the dog door. While whining about the constant cleaning, Leila recognized she needed help and called me.

After illustrating to them the different breed of dog owners they had become, the issue was to get them both out of the doghouse and concentrate on housebreaking Maidie by using the same approach--initiating "outside" on a leash. I also showed them both how to properly reprimand their dog. (To learn how, see Chapter 6.)

Now that you have gotten a little insight into the different dog owner personalities, hopefully you're ready to appreciate how a new dog may feel trying to decode your behavior. As we identify and laugh at our own quirks, we gain understanding which should help eliminate some bad habits we have acquired. My teaching is about having foresight, clear communication, and using reverse psychology, to be a little smarter than your dog.